


Coffee Dreams

by sansasnarks



Category: DC's Legends of Tomorrow (TV)
Genre: Angst, Family Feels, Friendship, Team Bonding, because i've been really interested in how a kendra/jax dynamic would go, legends family, well brief mentions of carter and aldus
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-06
Updated: 2016-02-06
Packaged: 2018-05-18 12:22:40
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,895
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5928172
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sansasnarks/pseuds/sansasnarks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ever since she lost her family, Kendra realized that she's been remembering more about their past life. And as she looks down at her cup of coffee, Jax sitting across from her, she realizes something else - Jax is sparking memories of her son.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coffee Dreams

**Author's Note:**

> I've always been interested in how Kendra and Jax's interactions would be like, and the Aldus storyline sparked my interest since it confirmed that Carter & Kendra were parents. So, this scenario popped into my head at 3 AM and I just had to write it. This is un-Beta'd, so please forgive any errors.

_"Aldus, did you see my necklace?" Edith asked, standing at the crappy desk, surveying the few items that were scattered about._

_"Right here Mommy!" Aldus said, jumping up from under the bed. "You dropped it when we came in."_

_Edith smiled and cupped her son's cheeks, giving him a quick peck on the forehead. "Thank you Aldus. What would I ever do without you?" She sighed and straightened her back, her eyes flitting to the locked door. "I wonder what's taking Joe so long..." she mumbled, and Aldus frowned._

_"Is something wrong with Daddy?" he whispered, an all too familiar fear entering his eyes. Edith shook her head and put on a smile, but was kicking herself on the inside. How could she say that in front of him? They had just gotten to the motel and she was already scaring her son._

_"Nothing, I'm sorry honey, Mommy was just thinking. Daddy's probably just looking for the ice machine and got lost, you know how he is."_

_Aldus' eyes softened, but Edith saw the twinge of worry hidden behind them. She grabbed his shoulder gently, prepared to tell him that it was all right, until the two heard footsteps approaching and the flimsy door unlock. The two let out a sigh of relief as Joe came in, but Edith's eyes immediately darkened when she saw Joe's worried expression. "He found us," she whispered, not even surprised anymore._

_Joe locked the door quickly - not that it would do any good, Edith thought cynically - and turned to them, saying, "I tried to throw him off our trail, but it won't be long until he finds us."_

_"What do we do?" Aldus cried, his hands clutching Edith's necklace and his face contorted with fear, and Edith's heart ached for her little boy. She and Joe locked eyes, and she saw that even though Joe was putting on a brave face, there was fear behind his eyes._

_"He'll be here any second," he practically whispered, and Edith dropped down to her son, grabbing him by the shoulders and looking straight into his eyes, knowing it was for the last time._

_"I want you to hold onto that necklace, okay?" she said, smiling at him. "And I want you to look at it and always remember that I love you and would do anything for you. And when I see you in my next life...give it to me okay? So that I can remember you."_

_Tears filled Aldus' eyes and he cried out, "But I don't want to give it to your next life. I want to give it to you."_

_Joe swooped in next, and he dropped down to Edith's level, looking at his son. "That may not be an option, son," he admitted, and squeezed his son's hand. "I need you to be brave for us, okay? Can you do that for us?" With tears streaming down his face, Aldus nodded, and Edith felt wonder - wonder that she and Joe had made this beautiful, strong creature, so strong that he could stand so brave at just 10 years old._

_There was a bang at the door, and both Joe and Edith jumped, feeling Vandal's presence. Joe swooped up Aldus and carried him to the closet, and before he closed the doors he whispered hurriedly, "I need you to be quiet okay? Be quiet and don't come out, no matter -" Joe stumbled over his words for a second, and Edith could hear the knot in his voice, but he continued. "No matter what you hear." Edith smiled at Aldus, mouthing an "I love you" to her son as the door closed on his precious face, and she let out the sob that she had been holding in, hoping that Aldus didn't hear it. She didn't have to worry about that anyway - Savage had kicked down the door, and Joe jumped on him, knife in hand, trying to incapacitate him. The next moments went by so quickly, and so familiarly that it felt like a bad movie - Savage stabbed Joe in his chest, and grabbed Edith._

_"I love you, Chay-ara, I really do," Savage said, and brought the knife down._

 

Kendra sat up in bed with a gasp, clutching her chest. She closed her eyes, sighing, telling herself that it had only been another dream. 

No, not a dream...a memory. She had been having them more and more often, ever since Carter had been killed. It had started off as a few snippets, some before Aldus, most with him - a small Aldus riding his bike for the first time, her looking into Carter's -  _Joe's_ \- eyes as she said "I do", watching Aldus reading a science article at only 8 years old. Before long, she had started remembering most of their life together, her, Joe, and Aldus. 

It was a cruel twist of fate that she was remembering them after they had been taken away from her. 

Kendra shook her head, trying to rid herself of the memories. She gave a small yawn, mumbling to herself, "What time is it?" 

"It is 3 AM, Ms Saunders," a robotic voice answered, and Kendra jumped in shock before settling down, remembering that Gideon did not, technically sleep, and was therefore always listening. Kendra sighed, debating if she wanted to go back to sleep or not, but decided against it, determining that she didn't want to dream more about the family that she had lost. Instead, Kendra sluggishly got out of bed and shuffled to the kitchen, wondering if one of the futuristic machines in the Waverider's kitchen could possibly be used to make coffee. As if reading her mind, the smell of coffee wafted down from the kitchen, and Kendra curiously walked towards the smell. 

"Hello," she said softly, startling Jax, who had been hunched over on the table, clutching a mug of coffee in his hands. 

"Oh - hey Kendra," he said, smiling widely at her, and Kendra involuntarily smiled back. Jax was easily the sweetest member of their team, and Kendra had always liked him. They hadn't spoken much, what with Jax being trained by Professor Stein and her by Sara, but Kendra had always felt oddly comforted when she looked over at Jax.  It was a mystery to her at first, but after she had lost Carter and Aldus, she had a moment where she was watching Jax joke around with Sara and Leonard, and a memory had come into her mind. It was fuzzy, the faces not too clear, but the image of Jax had sparked a memory of her own son telling joke after joke to her and Carter, trying to make them laugh after they had to flee their first home. Kendra hadn't realized that Aldus had been so into jokes, but she enjoyed seeing this new side of her son, and it relieved her to know that even if Aldus wasn't there anymore, she had someone on board who helped her remember him. 

"Couldn't sleep?" she asked Jax, and he gave a small snort. 

"Nah," he replied. "I was training with Stein and then the old bastard lectured me for about an hour and fell asleep. I couldn't go to sleep afterwards, so...here I am. You couldn't sleep either?" 

"Bad dreams," she admitted, and Jax gave her a sad smile in return. 

"Well, here," he said. "Let me get you a coffee." With that, he jumped up, and Kendra gave a small gasp as she remembered something. 

 

_"Mom, mom, I did it! I scored a touchdown!" he cried, jumping up and down._

_"Yes you did!" she said, smiling wildly, giving him a huge hug. "And you beat Daddy - good for you!"_ _Her son beamed back at her, pure joy radiating on his face, and she allowed herself to feel it too, reveling in the moment._

 

"What type of coffee do you want?" Jax asked, pulling her from her thoughts. 

"I...any type is fine with me," Kendra said, not really paying attention. Her mind was still focused on the memory with her son. Almost all of her memories included Aldus with his nose stuck in a book, or quietly holding onto her hand. She didn't even think he had any interest in sports. 

"Are you sure you're okay?" Jax asked, putting the coffee pot under an odd looking spout. "I know you said you had a bad dream, but you look a little out of it." 

"Nothing," Kendra said, shaking her head a little, and Jax raised his eyebrows, giving her a look. Her shoulders slumped, and Kendra decided to give Jax a semi-truth. "I was thinking about Carter and Aldus. About...how I lost them, how I didn't get to spend any time with them. How only a few months ago I was just a barista at Jitters." She sighed. "How much simpler that was." 

Jax looked over at her, and Kendra couldn't handle the look he was about to give her, so she quickly added in, "I don't need pity. We just need to kill Savage and then we can all move on with our lives." 

"Agreed," Jax said. "But-" he said as he placed a steaming latte in front of Kendra - "I wasn't going to give you pity." 

Kendra looked up at Jax, who sat down next to her. "Look," he started. "I lost everything in the Particle Explosion. College, football, it all went away, just like that. For a long time I was lost. And then all of a sudden I had these... _powers_. And I was supposed to be someone special, but I didn't think I was. I know that it's not even _close_ to what you're going through, and in no way is me losing football comparable with you losing your family, but if I've learned  _anything_ over the past two years, it's that there's always something great waiting for you, even when you think all the doors are closed." 

Kendra smiled; Jax's pep talks could probably use a little work, but he was a sweet kid, and he was so earnest in trying to make her happy. She turned to Jax, confiding, "I have been remembering them. Carter and I with Aldus. I'm remembering his birthdays - most of them at least, and the places we moved to." She smiled, suddenly remembering one of Aldus's complaints. "He always wanted to travel the world; he especially wanted to see Egypt, see where we grew up." She grinned. "I think he thought that if he could just visit our homeland he'd find some magical way to save us. We told him that we would go there, right after we stopped in...St. Roch..." Kendra trailed off, a small frown overtaking her face, and she focused on drinking the rest of her coffee, hoping that Jax wouldn't notice that she had stopped speaking. Jax nodded, watching her down the latte, and all of a sudden he grinned. 

"I always wanted to travel too," he admitted. "But I wanted to go to Europe. Not a specific place, maybe London or France, but I just wanted to go." 

Kendra smiled again, and a faraway look entered her eyes. "We were in France once," she said, so softly that Jax had to strain to hear it. "We had to change our identities but we went. We became Lisa, John, and Alvin..." She couldn't believe that she had forgotten France. They had traveled all around it, and "Alvin" had excitedly grabbed at her hands, pulling her down the streets, pointing at all the different shops that he wanted to go in. They had stopped in a small bakery, and she had ordered him just one eclair, but she remembered the pure joy in his eyes as he bit into the dessert for the first time. "I don't remember everything we did yet, but...it was magical." 

Jax smiled at Kendra and grabbed her now empty cup, moving to the sink. "That's great! I bet Aldus loved France." 

Kendra's smile wiped off of her face, and she frowned again. "He didn't," she said, mostly to herself. "Aldus never left the US." 

"What was that?" Jax asked, sitting back down with another cup of coffee. He offered it to Kendra, shrugging when she refused it. 

Kendra's smile was back on her face in an instant. "Nothing," she said. "Just...remembering." 

Jax smiled back, and it hurt Kendra's heart to see how genuine his smile was. "That's good." 

 

They settled into a silence, and Jax slowly sipped his coffee, leaving Kendra with her confused thoughts, trying to bring the face in her memories to life. She had assumed the blurry memories were of Aldus, but Kendra had a sinking feeling that she was wrong.

No, this was a different face, a little boy with a small scar on his forehead, a little boy who loved football and playing games, who Kendra couldn't fully put into focus, but could still feel an immense amount of love for. Her eyes flitted downwards, away from Jax, because she knew if she kept staring at him,the half-blurred face would finally come into focus, and she might have to accept that it wasn't - she stopped herself, trying to stop the thought from rising to the surface.  It _had_ to have been Aldus, couldn't it? But it wasn't - he couldn't be...

 

Kendra gulped as the thought finally pushed through her unconscious -  _You've had 4,000 years to live, and you only remembered Aldus now. Did you really only have one child in 4,000 years? Who's to say that you didn't -_

No. 

 _No_.

She was not going to even _entertain_ the thought. 

 

 And yet...

She knew there had been _three_ of them in France. She _knew_ it. Just like she knew Aldus had never played football a day in his life. Just like - as she was remembering now - Aldus had never broken his arm from falling out of a tree when he was 6 years old. So then why did she remember picking up her son, telling him that it was going to be okay, telling him that it was only a broken bone, that he just needed to be more careful? Why did she remember her son in France, telling her that it was okay that they had to leave this place, that as long as he was with them, he would be fine? She stole another look at Jax, who was so patiently waiting for her to speak, and a wave of nostalgia washed over her. He kept _reminding_ her of someone - someone her subconscious was screaming to not remember, someone who was important to her, someone who was sweet and kind and never wanted to hurt a soul in his life, an energetic boy who loved going on adventures and seeing different countries, always collecting different souvenirs so he could have something from each place they visited. A boy as wonderful and amazing as she knew Aldus was. 

But, Kendra had to admit to herself, it _wasn't_ Aldus, as wonderful of a child he had been. 

"You remind me of my son," Kendra said suddenly, breaking the silence. Jax looked up, and Kendra took a sharp breath, shocked that she had even vocalized the thought. 

A million different emotions filtered through Jax's face - an instant flash of happiness (to Kendra's surprise), quickly replaced with a sad understanding, to confusion as he tried to reconcile his personality with her son's. 

"I remind you of...Professor Boardman?" he asked, with just a twinge of disbelief in his voice, and Kendra looked past Jax. 

"No," she said quietly, and walked out of the room, not sparing a look behind her at the confused Jax because if she did, the tears stinging the back of her eyes would spill over. Kendra walked to her room, her vision already getting blurry, and when she heard the door click behind her, she took a few shaky breaths and slid down to the floor, feeling the hard door behind her. A sob racked through her, and she slapped her hands over her mouth, trying to keep herself quiet. She faintly wondered if Jax was still in the kitchen, staring at the spot where she had suddenly decided to walk away. Kendra couldn't get the image of Jax out of her head - how his face filled with pure joy when she had compared him to her son, if even for a second. With that second, he had finally brought the face into focus, and she saw him clearly now, her son's face as he ate the eclair for the first time, right back to him slowly closing his eyes as she sang him to sleep, to the small baby she had cradled in her arms and promised to always keep safe, to the baby boy who she had pushed into the street, screaming at him to run, her last image of him just _standing there,_  eyes wide and frozen as she bled out, tears streaming down his face. 

Kendra knew quite well who Jax reminded her of, and part of her wanted to run back out of her room and tell him the truth - but she wasn't ready for that. 

Not yet. 

But she could admit it to herself. "No, you're not like Aldus," Kendra whispered to thin air, wiping her tears. 

"But you're still like my son." 


End file.
